The Legend of Zelda: The Vilest Union

[Z-Fighter]

So, having thought long and hard about it, as well as having read the old version back, I decided to do a complete revision of my old Legend of Zelda fanfic, Union of Evil Powers, now known as 'The Vilest Union'. 


You can read the fic here before commenting on it.

Spoiler: Premise

A year after the events of Majora's Mask, the search for a beloved friend brings Link back to Hyrule, reuniting him with other cherished friends he has made there. However, from the shadows, malicious powers are biding their time to gather their strength to act, with vengeance on their minds...

Spoiler: References

As this is a fanfic set into the Zelda Universe, there are characters, enemies and locations mentioned from mainly the following media:

Ocarina of Time
Ocarina of Time Master Quest
Majora's Mask
A Link to the Past
OoT/MM Manga

Other references in a similar vein are from:

Twilight Princess
Minish Cap
Breath of the Wild
Age of Calamity
Hyrule Warriors
Skyward Sword
Spirit Tracks
Wind Waker
A Link Between Worlds

In terms of locations and environments only, as in how the landscapes of new areas appear as, inspiration was drawn from:

Rayman Revolution aka Rayman 2: The Great Escape
Rayman 3: Hoodlum Havoc

Bear in mind that this is only in terms of area appearances to some degree; all enemies and such found are solely from the Zelda-related media.

 

[ShineCero]

I have no knowledge of the Legend of Zelda series; never played the games or venture anything beyond snippets of Fan Art and Super Smash Bros. games.

And because of that, I felt that I was out of loop of a lot of stuff that was happening in this story. Don’t get me wrong; I think the story is interesting and I grasp the basics for the characters. But beyond that, the fanfic is loaded with so many references that more often than not, I have to use the Zelda Universe website for a lot of things because it flew over my head.

So, it’s not exactly super friendly to readers that aren’t too knowledgeable about the franchise; I felt that I was missing a lot of contexts between characters, events, and the sort. I think it’ll benefit your story a little to have a small exposition on certain things, for example, like Kokiri can use a little explanation of what they are and the sort. It does not have to be super detailed; something to provide the readers context and information so they’re in the know.

I do think the story of Link gaining memories from a different timeline is interesting (I’d assumed that the franchise is all about the intertwined of timelines?) and looking forward to seeing more. But try to include small pieces of information so the causal readers can keep up with the story.

Do try to separate the dialogues; it hard to read when there's no spaces between them!

Looking forward to your next chapter.

 

[Z-Fighter]

Thanks, I'll try to make improvements along the way if I can.

You have any suggestions? Those are always welcome.

 

[ShineCero]

Not much! I just think that make your chapters more friendlier for causals! Definitely explain a few things! Like if they go to a new area or meet someone knew, briefly explain what they are/did/etc., so the readers have a better understanding, along with context, of what they're reading! Recalling references is great!... for someone that are fans of the series, but to regulars, not so much! Keep that mind! :happy: