Silly Stories and Fun Frolics

wtf my posts keep merging O.o Umm, anyway...
 5!
Alzoru's World: Episode Five: King Teo the miserable

Teo sighs a little to himself, still very sad over what had happened. He motions for the bartender to pass him another drink.

"Are you sure, Teo? You'll get really wasted if you keep this up," Asks the Zinogre bartender.

"That's the idea, Zhane, that's the idea," grumbles Teo the Teostra.

"Look, I can understand wanting to get wasted to forget your troubles, but please don't forget sir- you're a violent drunk."

"I know, I know. I just don't want to think about her."

"There are much more constructive ways than getting yourself wasted, your highness. You could go to Dallas' Comedy club?"

"Don't make me laugh! Dallas isn't funny at all, all he does is make the worst puns I've ever heard!"

"Don't tell him that! He's a Dalamadur for Pete sake!"

"I know darn well what he is, Zhane. But you know what? Maybe I'll go and take a walk."

"That's the spirit. Best of luck, milord."

With that, Teo rose from his seat and left, opting to wander around the streets of the city.

Brentius was such a nice place during the day, and even on this hot summer night, it still had its charms. Teo passed by a band of Nargacugas on the street playing some soft jazz music and tossed some money their way. He liked jazz.

When he got home, he just fell right into the king sized bed in the room. many of her things were still here, taunting him reminding him that she left. King Teo, he felt like he was nothing without his Queen Luna.

But those days were done now. She left him last week and had been coming back each day since to get her things out of there and to insult him. Had he really been so bad a husband? Did he really deserve such a fate as being abandoned by his wife of a hundred years?

A knock at the door broke him from his musings. "Come in," He sighed.

It was his head butler, Arktos the Akantor. "My lord," He bowed.

"Arktos... I am happy to see you. You come at a good time."

"Do you desire something, my lord?"

"Just some company. Come sit on the bed with me."

"As you desire, sire."

"Have you found out who told her all those lies about me?"

"No sir. We still don't know who made you a letcherer in her eyes."

"Whoever they are, when I find out who lied to her and tarnished my good name, I will make them suffer!" He swore, roaring to the heavens.

"I know you will. Until then, if you must vent any frustrations, you could arrange for a boxing match. I know you love doing those."

"You know what? I will!" He shouted in a hammy fashion, rising up and racing to a phone. He was put in a match versus intercontinental champion Brandon Brachiores, a Brachydios. His servants secretly bet against him almost immediately.

A man's sorrow can cause him to do strange, stupid things. And come the next week, most of his servants became a few dollars richer, save for Arktos who bet on his lord winning.

Even though he lost, he held nothing against the champion. He was more angry at his servants for betting against him. It mattered not, though. The only thing that mattered to him these days was keeping Luna off of his mind.

Despite his distaste for it, he even drowned his miseries in the humor of Dallas' comedy club.

"King Teo's here tonight folks, so you know it's sure to be a hot one tonight!"

Teo groaned and faceclawed. He couldn't stand this guy's routine.

"Don't look now folks, but I think he's hot under the collar! Ahahahaha!"

One thing a comedian should never do is laugh at his own jokes. That's what Teo told himself, anyway. Dallas kept making jokes at Teo's expense. A fact that Teo wouldn't mind so much if they were any darn good. "Could you please joke about someone else? Like how about... ummm... that Uragaan guy!"

"Him? He's got his chin up tonight, doesn't he?"

At least he was distracted now. The only good thing about this club was the food in Teo's opinion. Such a great BLT they had here. He never understood what Luna saw in Dallas' jokes, but she loved his routine. And she made some pretty bad jokes herself sometimes. He wouldn't miss that, he told himself, but deep down he knew he was lying to himself.

He eventually left and retired back home. Since Luna was "never coming back" maybe he should try the classified ads or E-Harmony to look for a new flame. He needed someone to hug and kiss.

Maybe in due time he could find someone else. But he'd always love her. He knew he would never be able to forget her smile, her laugh, the way she fought alongside him in the war back when they met, and the scent of her nail polish.

He smoked a big Cuban cigar for a little while and looked out of his window into the night time sky, lost in thought about her.

And now for something completely different.

Episode 6, A Day in the Life of Alzoru.

So, story time kiddies! Gather round and get ready for a fun and totally true story.

So, this happened about three years ago. At the time, I was resting around on a tropical island, when suddenly a mermaid appeared to me and asked me to write a song for her. I agreed and on the fly I wrote her a song about owls and salad. She hated it, but was grateful nevertheless. So she gave me a silver key and told me to follow my dreams.

I didn't really know what she meant by that, so I built my own little disco palace on that island complete with no less than eight disco balls, three roller skating rings, one ice skating ring, and a juice bar! It was a big success until some copy cat made one one a nearby island that had a robot waiter and a statue of Henry Winkler as "The Fonz."

So we met and got into a fistfight over rollerdisco supremacy, and it got really brutal! I poked his eyes, he bopped by stomach, I kicked his shin, he tore off one of my antlers, and I gave him a colonic irrigation! It was a long and hard fight, but I gave up when he threatened me with a tooth drill!

So I left those islands and went to go find the legendary giant jell-o snack of the ages! After a long swim to Rick-Roll Island, I discovered that the jell-o had already been eaten by none other than Candarr the Canadian! I got his autograph.

Once again I had nothing to do, so I went to Albuquerque, New Mexico where I met the only Al even weirder than me! That's right- Al Pachino! I got his autograph. Oh, I also bumped into Weird Al Yankovic. He was cool.

I got to smooch a ghost, and I rode a Unicorn to Smackover, Arkansas where I got to eat lots and lots of oddly-shaped drumsticks. After getting fat on chicken I rolled around town until I was stopped by a tiny little green kid who rolled me around and had me run over stuff, which seemed to magically stick to me.

A catchy song played in my head on a near endless loop while I was being rolled around, objects and people sticking to my girth. I was getting a little dizzy, but at the same time, I felt... enchanted somehow. And when it was all done, I was surrounded by all kinds of stuff: People, animals, buildings, islands, continents... and then I met this royal weirdo who turned me and all that stuff into a star.

I'm so pretty now! But I've been stuck up here in space ever since. A little help, please? I really want to get down now.

Last one for now!


Alzoru's World Episode Seven: Respecting the Gods of Yardolme.

A woman of the sound tribe knelt before the pillar representing the god of her tribe, clearing her throat. She may not be champion of sound, but her song was one that his lordship would surely hear. At the top of her lungs, she sings a melody for his great ears to hear, even despite her own dislike for loud noises.

"Oh, lord of sound," She begins, "Bring us your love, bring us your peace, bring us the tranquility that only you can provide. Let us bask in your glory, and bring us the belssings only you can bring." She finishes up her prayer song.

"That was beautiful," came a voice from behind her.

"Eek!" She yelped, looking to see who said that... "Fire tribeman? When did you get here?" She seemed a little nervous.

"About the time you began singing. The Great Temple is such a vibrant gold, is it not? And the ten God pillars... they stand out so well. Did you bring the things necessary to pay respect to th other gods?"

"N-no sir... I did not think about it." She shivered.

"Then you may share my resources, ma'am. The Great Temple is a place where you respect all of the gods besides your own- you can worship your own god at your village's temple. As per your village's tradition, I will sing the same song you just sang for your god of sound." He knelt before the pillar, singing the song as best he could with his raspy voice. It was sure something to hear, but he was clearly sincere.

"Um, nicely done, I guess?" She blinks. "What's next?"

"Personally, I like to do air next. I think you'll like what the Air tribe's ritual is. You sit quietly and listen to the sound of the howling wind. To the Air tribe, this subtle noise is the sound of their god singing for them. Join me in this, I'm sure your ears can pick it up?"

She sits down with him and listens to the wind outside on the grassy plains. It does almost sound like a song in its own way, its lyrics incomprehensible even to ears as sensitive as hers. But she listens nevertheless, enjoying the company of this fire tribeman. After ten minutes, they stand back up...

"Mister, what do we do now?"

"Hmmm... How about Earth?"

"Okay. What do we do for that?"

"To celebrate the bounties of the god of Earth, the Earth tribe bring their finest harvests to their temple and burn them as offerings. So, I brought my own personal best harvest of wheat. And believe me, I know how to kindle... and clean up the mess it makes."

"O-okay. I'll help you!"

"That's the spirit, lady." He takes from his knapsack several bundles of wheat in pristine condition. He proceeds to make a small bonfire with her help, and they clean the floors afterwards.

They brought flowers to the pillar of the Wood god, they cleaned and polished the pillar of Iron, they washed themselves before the pillar of water despite the fire tribe's disdain for water, and they rubbed against each other to generate static electricity to shock each other and amuse the god of lightning.

"The goddess of light likes to be surrounded by light, so the light tribe lights candles at their temple and surround her  statue with it. So must we surround his pillar with candles." He explains, lighting half of the candles with her lighting the other half. Six candles each were laid in a circle around the pillar.

They went then to the pillar of shadows... "The Goddess of shadows loves mischief and trickery, so the shadow tribe tell each other blatant lies about... whatever they feel like lying about."

"Umm... I um... I like to dye my fur pink!" She blurts out without thinking.

"Really? I like to dye my scales pink!" He says with a laugh.

"... This tradition is silly." She mumbles.

"It might be to you, but to the shadow tribe, it's serious buisness."

"So what does the fire tribe do?"

"At our temple we take buckets of lava and uses special brushes to get the lava into cracks on the statue so that when th lava cools into rock, it can help repair the statue. However, this pillar is not made of the same stuff as our statue, and doing that would just ruin the pillar and risk damaging the floor. So instead we encourage one of our other rituals- The dance of the flames."

"Explain?" She asked in brief.

"It is a dance made to mimic the movement of flames. Follow my lead." He instructed, beginning the steps necessary.

She followed nervously, hoping not to mess anything up too badly. Much of the dance was in arm movement and flexibility of the spine, as it turned out. But her spine wasn't too flexible, and her arms were wings, so making the proper gestures was a little awkward for her.

Nevertheless, eventually he let her take it away on her own, and she danced for nearly eight whole minute before he stopped her.

"That was beautiful. Well-done." He applauded.

She bowed, "Thank you. I hope I didn't mess up too badly."

"You were just fine. The god of fire will bless you for this, I'm sure." He gave her a reassuring look.

The Great Temple... made of mostly solid gold, this sacred place stands in the grassy plains between the volcanic badlands, the swamps of the water region, and the great desert. All of the varied villagers come here at least once in their lives to pay respect to the gods of Yardolme other than their own, practicing and sharing traditions and rituals of the other tribes. And thus Yardolme is in order.
 
Hahahahahaha. Expect 8 later today.

Alzoru's World Episode 8: Nafinian Legends Series Part 3 (Founding of Wyvitira)

Wyvitaki was a Wyveri woman who originally came from a village in the mountains. Supposedly, she was born over 4000 years before recorded history. She was a hard worker and brought firewood from the nearby forests every day, along with occasional rocks and the like.

The elders of her village liked her a lot for her hard work, and she was to become the next leader. But, as it turned out, fate would have other plans. According to legend, Wyvitaki was framed for murder. It is not known who framed her, but the victim was her own father. The elders, with a heavy heart, had to exile her- normally, the punishment for murder was death, but they simply couldn't go through with it.

However, many people in that village felt that she was innocent, and they followed her out of her old home. Wyvitaki and her band of rovers wandered through the wilderness together, making camp each night while they searched aimlessly for a new place to call home.

Days went by all too quickly, their journies taking them south, east, and eventually north. Through forests, grassy plains, and more mountains they did trek for months on end. All of their feet became calloused within the first week, and their hands would soon follow. But though they were tired and hungry, they worked together and remained loyal to Wyvitaki to the end.

They all urged each other on, and while one or two would eventually try to go back home, they would either return to the group or never be seen again. The wanderers, for the most part, knew they could never return home now: they had simply come too far at this point. Though many began to fall into despair fearing that they may never find a new place to call home, they kept moving.

they came into the jungle, and it seemed like Wyvitaki took quite a shine to this new environment. So wet, so warm, so beautiful, to her it was the most wonderful place she'd ever seen. Soon they found what is today known as the Wyvitira river, and they followed it until they found a fairly large clearing and a lake fed by the river.

It was here that She buried a stick into the ground and said: "Here is where we shall build new life." She assigned work for the others to do, and within two weeks the new village was complete. They named their settlement "Wyvitira," a portmanteau of her name with "Tirare," which means "Grace." Ergo, Wyvitira could be called "Wyvitaki's grace."

The people came together and chose Wyvitaki as their leader, and she became the first queen of Wyvitira. Her descendants remained in power for almost 1,000 years before a new royal family usurped the throne.

To this day, statues of Wyvitaki are made and re-made to be kept in the city somewhere, a testament to her determination and perserverance, and a testament to the city's history. The statues are often very flattering.
 
All of the Nafinian legends series are inspired by old legends and myths to some degree.
 
Alzoru's World Episode 9: Nafinian Ledgends Series part 4 (Mylinta Saves Tekale)

Long ago in the country of Tekale, there was a great war among the Nobility. The High Queen had died, and with no viable heirs, a miricle was needed to stop the war. As the armies moved across the land in a race to claim the capital. Meanwhile in the capital, the people buried the Queen in a tomb.

The armies ravaged and destroyed everything in sight, and eventually one powerful duchess seized the Capitol, and proclaimed herself High Queen. She kept a harem of male suitors to make sure she'd have no shortage of descendants. At first, everything seemed fine.

But the new queen, Kabunaza was a madwoman. She twisted and skewed the words of the holy Akmonive, and proclaimed that all males should be made into slaves of their wives. Those that tried to speak against her were quickly silenced. And so all unmarried men were captured and abused, male children conditioned from hatching to just accept the fact that they would never be more than slaves.

Even the Queen's own sons were not exempt. The moment they hatched, she sent them into the new nursing establishment for boys. The problem, as she saw it, was that she had no daughters yet. As far as she was concerned, only females could ever competently run a nation.

For ten years this went on and on unchallenged until a male in rags appeared in the queen's palace and told her this: "Kabunaza, Mad Queen of Tekale, truly I say to thee, thy days are numbered. Twenty-five years from now, thy shall be struck down by a male. You will never have any daughters, and your sons will never know their royal blood. Your dynasty will truly come to end in violent fate."

The queen, outraged that a male dared enter her palace and say these things to her ordered her guards to go forth and captured him so that she may slaughter him herself. The man, with a combination of martial art and magic, fended off all of her guards. He laughed an unearthly laugh and combusted before her eyes, his laughter becoming louder and crazier as he vanished in flame.

It was then that the queen went pale. That was no ordinary man, she knew. That was the Goddess Mylinta, and she had just been cursed by destruction itself. Fearing for her life she ordered her vast armies to search farther and wider than ever to find more males, searching every nook and cranny for any signs.

Meanwhile, Mylinta appeared to a Munitara woman in her full, horrid glory. The woman screamed and begged Mylinta not to kill her, but Mylinta laughed in her horrifying, awful voice like nails on a chalkboard combined with the dying coughs of a chain smoker. She told the woman that she had no intention of killing anyone- quite the opposite. She intended to mate with the woman and bring a Demigod into the world to destroy the evil queen.

As much as Mylinta wanted to just destroy the queen herself and take her soul for punishment, it would be much more delicious to see her suffer first at the hands of someone she thought was inferior. And so Mylinta changed into a male and mated the woman. She bowed at the woman and told her this, "Our son will possess a great gift, the gift to appear female. He will not be noticed by the Queen's guards and be safe until he is ready. Make sure he is trained in magic and combat alike, he will need those skills to bring the mad queen to her knees."

"I shall see to it that he does. What shall I name him, my goddess?"

"That's up to you, babe. I can't name for beans." She shrugged and suddenly vanished into a cloud of hot steam, nothing left of her hideous visage.

The woman looked to her husband who had been watching the whole time. She wanted him to assure her that that had just happened. He nodded, his mouth agape.

In only a week, the egg was laid. It was black like obsidian with a red symbol of Mylinta on it. They hid it well. In three months, it hatched without a hitch. The green-scaled baby boy was named Ganatira, a perfectly unassuming name. He was a perfectly healthy boy, but when anyone but his parents came into his presence, he turned completely into a she. Mylinta wasn't kidding.

The boy grew up in peace, searching for a magic teacher at age five. He was a clever boy and learned quickly, moving onto combat and before he was even fifteen, he was out-performing his teachers. They, of course, had no idea he was born a male. To them, "she" was just a prodigy who would no doubt join the Queen's guard.

He did join them, too. He wanted to bring justice to the land. But the more he worked with the guards, the more he saw that the queen had wrought injustice across the land. Seeing the evil and misery she had spread all across the country, and especially the capitol made him furious. His righteous fury grew more with each passing day, and he swore he would deliver justice to the queen. And there, the Mad Queen's fate was sealed.

Ganatira was about to go into the castle one day when he was stopped by an old man bearing Mylinta's symbol.

"Old man... Should you not be in hiding? If you are seen, the guards will surely capture you and enslave you."

"It shall not be so, for a goddess cannot so easily be contained, my child. Do you not recognize your divine parent?"

"...Mother Mylinta?" He knelt her her, "Forgive me, mother. What do you desire?"

"I know your desire for justice is strong. But why not make it more personal? Take out some of her dishonorable vassals first. And her guards who are just as corrupt as she is. Take them down first and appear to them as male so she'll never suspect you. Then, on your twentieth hatchday, you can fulfill my prophecy." She gave a grin so devilish, one that would bring terror to a lesser soul. "Make her suffer first."

He smirked, "Maybe it would be nice to watch her squirm first. Now I know where I get my sadistic streak."

"Where the me did you THINK you got it?"

"Well, you got me there. I shall make her suffer." He agreed.

One by one her vassals fell, and reports all spoke of a male assassin, one who was never found. Two years pass with the same old story before his twentieth hatchday falls. He, as a female, walks up to the queen. "My Queen, I offer my protection."

"Thank you, my most trusted guard... I will need your protection. This assassin will be coming for me, just as in Prophecy. You are the only one who stands a chance."

He got closer to her and smiled, "My liege. You may rest easy."

She relaxed as "she" got closer. In a sense of security, she kissed his cheek. "You know, you're my most competent vassal."

"Well to tell the truth... it will be difficult to fend off the assassin."

"Why is that?"

He smirked and changed into his real form before her eyes, "I AM the assassin," he conjured up a blade of ice and stabbed her in the chest as she screamed in realization, "And my mother will be seeing you in the afterlife."

Ice spikes erupted from her body, spilling more and more blood painfully, miserably. She died in about five minutes of blood loss, suffering alone and in misery until her end. Ganatira carved her up and had a smith craft a sword from her bones, which he carried to the throne room. He sat down in there and proclaimed himself king, and he worked to dispel corruption in the kingdom, abolishing slavery all over the country and bringing a golden age to Tekale. He had one child in his life, a daughter who ruled as the next High Queen, continuing her father's work and becoming an excellent leader in her own right.

In his afterlife, Ganatira is said to help his mom punish evil rulers in their afterlives.
 
Alzoru's World: Episode 10 Search for the Truth: Wyvitaki's Tomb

There have been legends passed down since ancient times. Tales of treasure, tales of magic, tales of heroes and villains, tales of people who did important stuff.

Today, Renikari 2, 1948 a team of archeologists are searching for evidence behind the legend of Wyvitaki, the supposed founder of Wyvitira. In particular, Our team is going to investigate possible burial grounds. If Wyvitaki's tomb could be found, it would be the Archaelogical find of the century.

According to the most popular version of the tale, she was buried with pottery, grain, and small statues of granite in a small cave under Wyvitira's exact center. Taken at face value, this would mean that her tomb is somewhere beneath Castle Daragoni. However, this assumption is under contest.

While it is true that Castle Daragoni is near the center of the city today, we cannot say for certain that that was the center of the city at the time of her death. In fact, other sources point to the residential area at the south end of the city, which is far more likely.

History and Legend tell us that Wyvitira was built on the banks of a river, but that the river changed course and moved away over time. Recently, fossilized fish, shale, pottery, and boat remains have been found in digs around Southern Wyvitira, and outside the city gates. Even in an early history document from year 20, Wyvitira's south side was described as being a port along a dry riverbed, decaying and stagnant. And then in the year 255, the king at the time had a large part of the riverbed filled and the port detroyed so that the city's walls could be made.

So the best places to look are in the most populated part of the city. This presents a major problem to our team, as we will need permission from various home owners to dig around their homes or search through the few-and-far-between areas owned by no-one. Just in case the tomb might be under the castle, Half of our team asks the current King of Wyveli for permission to dig under the castle for the tomb, and he graciously grants it.

As for the others, they tear into the largest patch of onowned land in the city. They find many things, pots, discarded wurona, granite spearheads, and bones of many Durakuni. The team had found a burial site. They dared not disrespect the corpses, but instead cleaned them up a little and left them some wheat as per tradition.

Team A carefully uses the latest equipment to tear through the jungle soil, but then rain start falling and makes the ordeal more annoying and potentially deadly. Team A and Team B both have to work more cautiously now.

Within hours, Team A is hitting rock, and are now drilling into it. Meanwhile, Team B have taken the artifacts from their dig site and are re-burying those ancient corpses. Most of them were Ordelaka, and, based on current methods, they died around the years -3721 to -3678. Not quite far back enough, but it does show that this are of the city was once used for burial.

Team A is making a tunnel below the castle now, heading in the direction that would most likely be considered the "Exact center" of the city. What they find is surprising: There is, in fact, a small cave under the castle.

The cave is lined with various fossils dating back a few million years, but more importantly there are Durakuni skeletons laid to rest here. Four of them, two Lynada, one Ampitera, and one Munitara. Obviously, none of these are Wyvitaki, but dating them reveals something very interesting. They date back to -1030, meaning that their burial is fairly recent, and there is an area near the north of the cave that looks as if it was intentionally caved in. The room is full of ancient treasures like pottery, four marble statues, most likely of the people buried here, precious metals, and gems.

Team A may not have found Wyvitaki, but they found what they belive to be the bodies of four Durakuni who must have been very important in their time. Team B searches a smaller dig site rather briefly, finding nothing but arrow heads, long-dead prey, and a few other small trinkets.

Team A tunnels around under the castle some more, going deeper and finding a bigger cave, but this one, unfortunately, is totally flooded. Luckily, one team member is a Wyrana and dives in. The water is rich in minerals- no surprise there, and stinky mold and some bacteria colonies are down there, as well as some VERY old fossils that he brings back, but no Durakuni bodies. Well, they found something rather important, but not what they hoped for. He also reported that the water was very low on oxygen, so even he actually had to try to hold his breath instead of trying to breathe it.

A month goes by for the two teams where they find nothing of any real value. Eventually they regroup and decide to look into a different lead. One version of the Wyvitaki legend says that she was buried on the other side of the river, positioned so that her feet faced towards the city she founded.

The crew take the search outside the city gates, and dig through topsoil in spite of more rain. They start about fifty meters away from the gates, well beyond where the river would have been, and they dig through a huge area. Days pass of digging through rock and fertile mud. Dropped Wurona, arrowheads, and othe minor artifacts had been found, but no cave yet. Finally, after two weeks, one of them breaks into- and falls into a small cave only about ten meters long and five meters wide... and rather artificial looking. Lo and behold, something was in here, alright. Ancient pottery shards, worn granite statuettes, the decomposed remains of what they believe was once grain- and a body.

The body of a Wyveri female, her feet pointing north and slightly to the east. And right behind the corpse, a weathered yet still nicely detailed statue of Diorite telling us what she probably looked like. The team are almost readt to celebrate, but first they needed to date it. -4011 is the estimated date of death. A rejoice is had, they had found the tomb of the founder. Wyvitaki, a woman of legends, finally found after all this time.

The funniest part about all this, though, is that that statue of her isn't all that flattering. If that statue and her skeleton are anything to go by, she was not much of a looker- she was extremely short even by Wyveri standards, had two extra toes, several missing teeth, had part of her tail missing, had lost her right wing, and had several scars- a far cry from the statues made of her today.

Wyvitira's ugly yet wonderful founder- she was real all along. The crew left her tomb after giving her some grain and took a few pottery shards, but otherwise left her undisturbed. Each of them even pet her forehead and thanked her for her hard work in life, hoping to give her all due respect.

Sometime in the year 1949, a construction project is set to begin to make the tomb accessible to all, so everyone can respect the great founder of the great city of Wyvitira.
 
So, you people ready for more archeology?

Alzoru's World Episode 11: Search for the Truth: The Akantiru

There have been legends passed down since ancient times. Tales of treasure, tales of magic, tales of heroes and villains, tales of people who did important stuff.

Today, Worakari 15, 1948, Our team of six archaeologists and their hired muscle are in the country of Orkati in search of an artifact that supposedly chose the kings of the region for generations before it was lost.

There are many stories of how it was lost- earthquakes, lost at sea, stolen and sold on a black market, Taken back by the god who supposedly granted it, and others believe that it simply began to degrade in quality and eventually broke, rendering it useless and forcing the people to melt it down for its metal to be reused.

The artifact in question is the Akantiru, a legendary sword that was supposedly crafted and given to the people by Akanotko himself. Its name is a portmanteau of "Akanotko" and "Tiruta (breath)," so it could be called "Akanotko's breath."

According to legend, two thousand years before recorded history, the People of Orkati had enough of one horrible king's despotic rule, and worked together to overthrow him. They murdered all of his viable heirs and, for a time, they established a democracy of sorts. The people all worked together and voted of courses of action to take, but there were so many people and cities involved that it was difficult to truly count every single vote. Almost nothing was ever actually done, and people became sick of the lack of progress.

People in individual cities fought, and fought, and kept on fighting until one person per city was deemed their ruler, and Orkati was now divided into hundreds of city-states just like in ancient times. War began to crawl across the land as the leaders each desired to become high king of Orkati.

Alliances were formed, battles were won and lost, cities were captured, and territories expanded and shrunk in a mad fluxuation like tides. The ebb and flow of territories went on for a decade, and the people prayed to Zeikxi, the goddess of peace, and many others to stop the war.

And then, in Orkati's former capitol, a beam of crimson light fell from the sky and became a sword that landed into a stone, and Akanotko's symbol was etched into the hilt. From the heavens boomed the voice of Akanotko who said the following: "The one who pulls this sword shall, by my holy command, become the next grand monarch of Orkati."

The word of this miracle spread far and wide across the many nations of the once-great Orkati, and leaders from all of them tried and tried to pull the sword from the stone. Man, woman, Wyrana, Ordelaka, Munitara, people of all descent all came and tried, but all of them failed.

As more and more failed, the people began to wonder more and more if this was some trick by the heavens, or if perhaps there had been some kind of mistake. Years began to pass, and while there were claims of people claiming the sword, or replicas made to fool people, they were all quickly debunked and the liars executed.

ten years pass and despair forms among all. If a king is not found soon, the cities will go to war once again. The holy blade lay there in the rock, ageless in its pristine beauty.

On one snowy night in the month of Momokari, the sword went missing. And this time, when people came to look, they discovered it was true! Somebody had really pulled the sword from its prison! But who? And where had they gone?

The search for the fabled sword and its new owner brought them to a teenage Lugani girl who said that she had been chased into the place the sword was entombed by some thieves who had killed her parents. She pulled the sword in desperation, and red lightning fell upon the sword, and the thieves ran away in terror.

Skeptical, the people had her return the blade to its stone. She did so, and then, lo and behold, she pulled the sword again, and red lightning fell from the sky onto the sword. In her hands, the symbol of Akanotko on the blade's hilt would glow faintly. When anyone else held it, it would go dark.

And so, this girl named Karibasa was declared the new high queen in the capital, and the word spread across the many nations that once made Orkati, and they slowly began to merge once again.

Karibasa tried her best to rule with fairness and wisdom, but alas was only a teen. She found her grandfather and asked him to be her advisor, and she would use his wisdom to influence her decisions. Over time she would gain many advisors and weigh their opinions to make her decisions.

When she finally grew to full maturity, she made the proclamation that any man or woman unrelated to her who could impress her with feats of strength, knowledge, wisdom, and humor would be her royal mate for life and live in luxury with her.

A decade would pass before a female named Samuxaro finally passed the queen's test, and was finally married to the high queen. Unable to produce an heir, the queen proclaimed that she would place the sword back into the stone, and that who should pull it would become the next ruler.

Exactly one year before the queen died of a horrible disease, the sword was pulled by a noble young man, and she adopted him as her son.

For 300 years, this continued- the current monarch would put the sword back into that stone, and the one who could pull it would rule the country after they died. In those 300 years, never was there a bad monarch. But then the sword was lost or destroyed.

And now our team is searching the Library of Orkati and more such places for any evidence as to the holy blade's whereabouts. However, one of them is also searching for the stone that supposedly held the holy sword many, many times in those days before recorded history.

As it turns out, there is a site in Orkati's capitol called "Akantiru Galuri Taroni," a religious site that is believed to be the place that once harbored the holy sword. Built upon the site is a shrine to Akanotko and marble statues of all of the monarchs chosen by the sword.

According to the monks and priests at the shrine, the original stone has long since weathered away into pieces, but several of the pieces are kept at the shrine in a plastic bag. Our archaeologist examines the pieces and is able to, at the very least, find tiny iron oxide particles, which suggests that some sort of iron was associated with these stone shards.

But it is not proof of the sword's existance, nor is it proof that these pieces are from the same rock. All it proves is that these rock pieces once had contact with iron. In fact, this makes the connection even less likely since at the time of the sword's forging, iron was not yet discovered. If the sword had indeed been made of Iron, this would give credence to the existence of Akanotko. The team keeps looking all over and a few leads are found. According to one story, the king of Orkati had been on a boat en route to one of the many port cities with the sword in tow when pirates attacked the ship and sunk it along with the king and the holy sword.

While almost everyone agrees that the king died at sea because of pirates, not everyone agrees that he brought the sword with him on that boat. Finding a shipwreck that old would be a challenge, especially with no name on the boat to identify it. If the sword was lost at sea, finding it might just be impossible.

Two of the crew search the shallow waters of the area between the two cities where the boat most likely went down, aided by professional divers who know the area well.

The other four look into other leads, one of which is a story that the sword was left planted in a stone near the port of Orkati, and an earthquake opened a fissure that the sword and stone fell into, unable to be retrieved, made worse when the fissure filled with seawater. Today, the fissure is known as "The Trench of Kings," and those who believe the story say that one day the sword will be found again, and a worthy soul would become high king or queen of Orkati once again.

Two of our team and some Wyrana divers head into the trench and the last two investigate another possibility- the claims that the sword was stolen and sold off on a black market. Along with this version of the tale there are claims of people who owned the sword and how its ownership would change over time. The remaining two discern that if all these stories are true, that the sword is now either all the way in Kazane or in one of three or four ancient ruin sites in Orkati.

Team A finds many wrecked vessels in those temperate waters off of Orkati. They find arms shipments, cargo ships, ancient funerary boats, and warships a plenty. But most of them are modern boats in this area. Every once in a while, older boats are found, and these boats do provide some excellent archeological treasures like pottery shards, ancient shipments of food, ancient currency, and some old, decayed weapons.

Team B finds that while the King's trench is deep, even its deepest point is only just out of reach for photosynthetic organisms. The most they have to worry about are dangerous sea predators, especially the dreaded Akantaxa. The Akantaxa is a dangerous beast that lives only in this trench. Legend says that it appeared to guard the holy sword from unworthy souls. At first it was thought there was only one, but in fact, there are at least twelve of them down there.

The Akantaxa are nowhere to be seen just yet, but the group is on high alert. Once they see those horrifying two heads, they'll know to back off. These sacred yet dangerous animals are never captured intentionally- it is believed that catching one will bring misfortune, but that killing one means you are destined for greatness.

While Team A and B look underwater, Team C searches a ruined village. Once upon a time, this village was known for its rich abundance of gold and gems. But eventually it ran out of those resources and slowly declined until it was destroyed overnight by a freak storm. A perfect place to hide a legendary blade. The ruined houses are overgrown with grains and old crops, and there are many artifacts left here untouched, and there are some pilgrims here who are on a religious journey.

This ruined city is considered a religious site to those who work at the Temples of Mylinta, claiming that during its decline, the people here likely indulged in many evils due to their increasing desperation. So they think that the storm that destroyed the city was Mylinta's doing. And stealing a holy sword and helping to hide it surely was something that would be punished by heaven.

A week passes, and Team A has found no evidence. Team B has searched the largest part of the fissure and had to fight off some Akantaxa. While Team B has found artifacts, some of which have been swords in the fissure. In Orkati, after the holy sword was lost, it became a Wyrana tradition to throw an old sword into the trench and have your child go to fetch it- if they could not find it by the end of the day, they would have no inheritance. This tradition continued into written history up until the year 344 when most people stopped doing it because of how dangerous the Trench of Kings is.

Fifteen such swords have been found, most of them made of copper, and one made of cobalt. Some of these blades were planted in the ground, but not in stones. And they were easily uprooted. Only one sector of trench remains, and Team B is skeptical of finding anything.

Team C has moved between three of the four ruined villages, and found artifacts, skeletons, catacombs and ancient hideaways for thieves. And while there were some nice swords here, they are mostly made of stone or copper. The final site, however, is more than just a village. This is place used to be a thriving city. The ruined city of Keferano lies on the banks of a dry river bed that would have once connected it to villages all along the river, the ocean, and thus to port cities all over Orkati. But studies show that the river- and thus this city would have dried up around the same time that Wyvitira would have been founded.

Stone weapons and tools are found all over, along with pottery shards and stone blocks. But no swords are found yet. This ancient settlement also seems to have some underground chambers that Team C decides to look at later.

Team A finds lots of gold and jewels on trade ships, and while this will make them rich, it doesn't bring them any closer to the sword.

By the end of another week, Team B leaves the trench convinced that the sword is not down there and looks for new evidence in the Library of Orkati once again.

Two months have passed since the search began, but new evidence helps shed a little light on the blade's composition. A piece of pottery depicting the sword is found in a museum by Team B, and the pottery dates back to around the time that the sword would have still been in use by the royal family. It is depicted as radiantly white with a hilt of dark wood. Looking closely, there are patterns on the blade that lead team B to this conclusion: The sword may have been made of Marble.

Team B radioes in to the others, and the news is very helpful. Team A has found at least three marble swords underwater, only one of which had an intact hilt- which was made of copper. Team C was exploring underground now, and in a catacomb with several skeletons lying around it, there was a marble blade on the floor in about seven pieces with no hilt in sight.

It makes sense that the hilt, made only of mere wood, would not still be intact, so this broken blade is a good candidate. The sword is taken to an enchanter to test if it was- or had once been- enchanted. Astonishingly, the answer is yes. The sword, once upon a time, had been enchanted.

Could this old, broken sword really be THE holy blade of Orkati that chose the ancient kings? Weather it is or not, one thing is for certain: This sword has seen better days. Team A and B are called back to call off their searches. It's time to move on. If the Akantiru ever really existed to begin with, it is either lost forever- or in several pieces that are now kept in a museum.
 
Next one's here. And it's pretty mundane

Alzoru's World Episode 12: My day today

Okay so, here's something completely mundane since I'm
sure you were expecting something silly.

So, I first woke up after some demonic entity possessing Papa Smurf told me in a dream that I needed to use the bathroom. Sure enough, I did. So I get up, take care of my buisiness, and go back to bed because I was still sleepy.

Fun fact, this entire week I've been fiddling with various ideas for this episode: Another BS "Story" of my life, Yardolme stuff, mor Nafine legends, I just couldn't freakin' decide.

But that's neither here nor there. I get up later and have breakfast: Hot Fudge Sundae Poptarts and some Golden Chick Yeast Rolls. Mom come in and reminds me it's April Fools' Day by pulling a fast one on me.

I get back to my usual stuff: Breakfast, Teeth-brushing with my fancy electric toothbrush, And generall just kind of mucking around. Then I go and check a few sites really quick: DA, FA, and Habitica. Had I remembered to take my vitamins? Yeah. I even took my allergy tablets (My allergies are awful in the morning!).

Check this, check that, did I remember to do this...?

Then, come 12:00, like clockwork, and I get on a call with my lover. They help me wake up, I helm them wake up, we made a deal to draw our Pokemon Soul Link teams as Ferals AND Anthros, and I've basically been drawing all day.

Anywhom, I ended up getting into my first (I think) art trade, which I am doing with an old and dear friend. It's so nice being in contact with them again.

Mom got me a book on how to draw medieval fantasy stuff, and I've already drawn something with it. Along with those pokemon teams. My wrist is killing me right now, you have no idea.

I tried to trick mom, buuuut she didn't really go for it. Anyway, we decided to do Subway for dinner tonight. Eat fresh, my friends. Also, Skype gets worse with every update. WTF are you doing, Microsoft? Updates are supposed to make your software BETTER, not worse.

Well, anyway, That's my day so far. I regret to say that you guys most likely WON'T be seeing scan of those drawings because they're drawn on paper that's too big for my scanner.

I might at least do some digital art of some Nafinian wildlife and maybe a Durakuni Knight or Wizard or something. But I'll probably save that for tomorrow. I'm actually somewhat mentally exhausted.

In fact, I considered not bothering with an episode this week. But as you can see, I still did anyway. No April Foolin', this is actually how my day, IRL, is going. I seriously spen about three hours and thirty minutes just kind of doodling.

Welp, now that this episode is over, I'll probably have some Warheads candy or minty gum or something. I've got a baaaaad sweet tooth. Thanks for reading, and I will see you guys next week. *waves*
 
Forgot I need to put this here, too. Enjoy pokemans

Episode 13: Tale of a Pokemon Trainer (Part One)

Professor Hemlock readied herself for an onslaught of new trainers to arrive at her lab. The mass-bred starter Pokemon at the place had been waiting their entire young lives to be chosen and paired with new trainers, and today, a bunch of them were prepared.

Today Professor Hemlock had decided that she would hand out members of the hoenn trio: Treecko, Torchic, and Mudkip. Thirty of each of them were put into balls to be selected by young trainers.

The sun beat down over Yanbola island as an alarm clock blared loudly in one child's room. The young man rose from his bed. His name was Jatak, and he was ready to grab his first Pokemon. He knew what the selection of the day was, and he was planning on getting Mudkip because he knew that once he evolved it up to Swampert, it would become immune to electricity.

In front of him in line was his friend Kadaro. Both of them were eighteen, which was the required age for becoming a trainer in this region. After all, who in their right mind would let young children control monsters capable of mass destruction and death? It seemed like such an irresponsible notion.

Kadaro looked back at Jatak and smiled, "You too, eh? I'm not surprised. I know your sister took off with her choice yesterday."

"Chikorita, yeah. What are you getting?" He asks.

"Torchic. Blaziken is a beastly pokemon if you know what you're doing."

"I'm going for Mudkip, actually. Swampert's a dual Water and Ground Type, rendering it immune to voltage."

"That's some good thinking. I wonder if anyone will pick Treecko?"

"Oh, you know people love Treeko. It'll get some love, especially with the discovery of Mega evolution. If we can import Mega Stones from Kalos... well, you probably get where I'm going with this." Jatak reasoned.

Kadaro nodded, "Yes. Well, whatever the case... let's not battle as soon as we get our starters. I think we can agree that we'll need to do some training before we fight any trainers."

"Okay, sure. Best of luck on your journey, Kads." Jatak wished aloud with a smile.

The two shook hands an went in together.

"Jatak, Kadaro, welcome to the lab." Professor Hemlock walked up to them, her grey hair much wilder than usual and her cane looking worse for wear. Her grey-blue eyes were full of mild annoyance, and she had some burn marks on her.

"Professor Hemlock?! What happened to you?" Jatak asked, his jaw dropped.

"Two upstart trainers decided to battle here in the lab! I told them not to, but did they listen? Of course not! And now one of their starters is in critical condition."

"Ouch, that's a real doozy." Kadaro recoiled back.

"I trust you two will be more responsible?" She said with a deranged smile.

They both made nervous faces and explained that they already agreed not to battle right away. Professor Hemlock breathed a sigh of relief and put her hair back into a bun right in front of them.

"Alright boys," She said with an expression of joy, "Who will be your choices??" She started gesturing and shouting in a hammy fashion- "The Grass-Type Pokemon Treecko?!" She pointed to a pokeball with a sticker of Treecko's face on it. "The Water-type Mudkip?!" She pointed to a similar ball with a mudkip sticker. "Or the Fire-type Torchic?!" This ball had a Dratini sticker on it.

"Er, Professor Hemlock, Torchic's ball has the wrong sticker." Kadaro pointed out.

She kept her pose and made a deranged smile at him, "I ran out of Torchic stickers. So sue me!" She shouted, striking a different pose.

"Sometimes I forgot how energetic she is..." Jatak said nervously. "Pretty spry for a woman who's gotta be like eighty-something."

"I'm only Sixty-eight, thank you very much!" She yelled at him, forcefully bopping her cane into his stomach. "Rude."

"Ow... That hurt." Jatak mumbled, "Sorry ma'am."

"Now, gentlemen... What is your choice?!" She pointed at each of them and cocked her head slightly.

"My choice is Torchic," Kadaro said calmly, picking up the ball with the Dratini sticker. "And you're sure there's not a Dratini in here?"

"I'm not allowed to give those as starter Pokemon, you know that!"

"I'll call him... Muroha. He will be a fine young bird in time. Come out, Moruha!" The little torchic came out of its ball. Funny enough, it was a female. "Her, I stand corrected."

"Lucky! You got a female starter! Alright. My choice is Mudkip, and not just so I have an advantage over Kads." He picked up the ball... "I'll call you... Ata." He let the mudfish out of its ball. It was a male, not surprisingly.

"Both are excellent choices. Tomorrow, I'll be giving out Sinnoh starters, but you two already made your choices. Off with you, boys! You've got a journey to undertake!"

"Don't we get a pokedex or something?" Kadaro asked.

"Bah! I'll finish that thing myself! Once the weekend comes around I'm going to grab a bulbasaur and let my aides take over! Never send kids to do a professor's work." Professor Hemlock yelled and posed with conviction.

"Oh brother," Jatak facepalmed. "The weekend is really soon, ma'am. It's thursday."

"I know, and I'm so excited! I haven't done anything with Pokemon since my glorious days of youth! My old starter is part of the breeding program now, but I'll be taking one of her grandkids with me on new adventures! Isn't that wonderful?!" She struck another pose.

The boys had already left. "Hey! You don't just leave when a professor is monolouging! Ugh, kids these days." She let the next group in, "Welcome to Hemlock Laboratory!" She struck a pose again.

Outside, the two boys looked at each other. "Well JT, I guess we're rivals now. Take care on your journey. Next time I see you, I'm going to kick your butt."

"Likewise, Kads. You be careful." They shook hands and hugged. "Where you headed?"

"Umer City, I plan to challenge the gym there! And you?"

"For now," Jatak began, "I'm staying around here to do some special training. It's going to be rigorous."

"I'm sure. Don't forget to catch stuff, buddy." Kadaro waved and left, his torchic standing on his head.

"Well, Ata, I think it's time to begin your special training. Let's see... what are a Swampert's best stats? Attack and HP I think? I think I know how I can work with that. Follow me, kid." Jatak led the young 'Kip into the outskirts of town to an area called "Beginner's road" where there was some tall grass around- but that's not what he was here for. He found a tree and pointed at it.

"Ata, that tree right there is going to be your target. Attack it head-on! Hold nothing back! Just your body, any part of it! Show that tree what you've got."

Ata nodded, "Kip!" and started tackling the tree. The training lasted most of an hour until the tree fell over.

"That's my boy, Ata! You're gonna be strong! You're gonna be really strong! Now get some rest!"

Over the next few days, Ata would grow stronger and stronger, its attack stat no doubt through the roof for such a young Mudkip. And after Jatak was sure that his power was at the maximum, he took the young mudfish to a boat rental shack out near the sea. He rented a rowboat and taped Ata's forelegs to the oars, having it sit down in a position that would allow it to row.

"Stroke! Stroke! Stroke! Let's work on that health! Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!" Jatak ordered, cheering on his little companion. Ata worked its hardest to please its new trainer. Even if his methods were unorthodox, they were working.

Within days, Ata was looking and feeling much more powerful.

"Let's see, its HP and Attack EVs should be maxed, but what do I invest the rest in? Eh, I'll put them into defense. But how do I train defense? I mean I can think of a few ways, but those seem too cruel. I am at a loss right now."

Ata snuggled up to him, and he thought some more, "I guess I'll go with speed instead, let's do this. Alright, Ata, I'm going to chase you, and you need to run as quickly as you can. If I catch you, you lose. If I give up, you win. Alright, go!" Ata ran off and tried to evade his trainer. While he didn't get too much faster from these ordeals, he was able to speed up a little bit.

With the special training done, Jatak went home and told his mom that he was leaving now. She gave him five pokeballs and kissed his forehead. After those goodbyes, Jatak went back to Beginner's road and actually started looking for pokemon to catch. Much to his surprise, he found a Female Mareep! While he was a little bit worried, it looked like it most likely didn't have any electric moves just yet, so it was easily weakened.

And thus, Jatak caught his first Pokemon. What would he name it? Whairi sounded good to him. He would need to think about how to train for Special Attack, and Special Defense as well. Meditation, he decided would be the best route for special defense.

After yet more days of hard work, he decided it was time to stop messing around and test their mettle against wild Pokemon. Both of them did exemplary jobs. Finally, after a whole month of training those two, Jatak took the ferry to Umer City. He was confident in his abilities now, and the abilities of his Pokemon.

Umer City... He'd heard that the gym leader there: Janette, was a user of Normal Type Pokemon. He would be ready, he told himself. He'd waited for both his party members to learn STAB moves before he even bothered to go to the city.

The Pawn Badge... Soon it would be his. He kept patient and quiet while his Mudkip ran around him in circles. His Mareep was in its ball. It was going to be a few hours before they got there, but they had a room to stay in. His Mareep came out of its ball and his two pokemon talked to each other.

Jatak took a nap and swore to himself that he'd teach them to speak someday. Will Jatak get his first badge without a hitch? Or will he be sent home crying? Find out next time.
 
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