Fear.
It drives me forward.
It spins the wheel of progress and regression.
It makes every second last an eternity.
The ancients tower above me, beards of decades gone by turn from summer’s greens to fall’s reds to yellows, with the oranges in between. I walk along the path, staring at those with years beyond my comprehension, beyond my existence. Their wooden forms provide comforting familiarity, despite the vastness of time and age providing their physical forms. The sun’s setting provides beautiful illumination to their beards, and casts long shadows onto the ground. It is out of this shadow that a person approaches.
“Shadow, my friend, I’ve been looking for you.” I said with a large smile at the approaching male. He shakes his head and chuckles.
“Liar, you heard me perfectly well that I was sick of waiting and would go on ahead. Where is Luna, anyways?” He asked, only to literally jump in surprise.
“Surprise!” Said a female voice behind him, holding a stick. Irate and flustered, he turned around to look at the one who did this to him, and scoffed.
“Can’t you handle someone being behind you, without you know it? You’re always behind me.” I asked him with a roll of my eyes. He shook his head and looked to me.
“Not at all. After all, that’s on you.” He stated without hesitation. A part of me feels the disturbance, and just nod.
“Yeah, yeah.” I replied, looking at the ground, before Luna poked me with the stick. “Hey! Not nice!”
“See!” Shadow yelled.
Fear, at its core, is not knowing something.
It is a lack of knowledge.
It is that lacking which leads to death.
Which leads to fear.
Seething at Luna with petty fury and indignation, that sweet smile, those caring eyes, I can’t bring myself to be angry at those I love for very long. Dropping my childish anger, I begin to walk along the path again, away from the ancients’ long beards into open air, open skies, looking to our destination. Shadow and Luna follow suit.
“What, no apology?” Shadow asked.
“One does not need to apologize for pranks.” I replied. Luna just smiled, as she always did.
When there is fog over a lake, the veil between this world and the next becomes visible.
The barrier, once revealed can be penetrated like an overeager spouse before the marriage is properly done.
Crossing the barrier leads from this world to the next, and once one crosses the barrier, they will see things.
They will know what fear truly is.
Something’s not right. I can feel it in the air. Like a murderous intent.
“I, I thought today’s forecast was bright and sunny.” Luna stated, seeing dark clouds rolling in.
“Not rainy and depressing.” Shadow added, though in most situations this day would make me, I mean him, happy.
“Look, it, it doesn’t matter.” I said to try and reassure them, heavy raindrops starting to fall onto us. “We’ll just go to the shore edge, grab what I left behind, and then head home.”
“And let me guess, hold Luna and fall asleep to the rain?” Shadow asked as his hair started to fall flat from being wet, rather grumpy about a day out being ruined on the basis of a bad weather forecast.
“You can paint to the rain, you know.” I replied, wishing I had my coat and hat to keep the rain off me. I looked to Luna, who said nothing, not appreciating the rain as much as I did internally.
“Sorry Shadow, we’ll be going home for my sake.” She stated, glancing up. As we continued along the path, crossing over the bridge and across the roads, fog started to roll from the lake and permeate our path. Taking what felt like hours but was truly minutes, we arrive at the shore of destination. Looking out to the rain falling onto the lake, and the fog covering everything but still being translucent enough to be visible, I shrug and look to my friends.
“I’m not so sure about this.” Luna said.
“You, really need to grab it today?” Shadow asked. I rolled my eyes.
“We’re here, aren’t we? Might as well. Not like a little fog won’t do anything.”
Fear makes every second last an eternity.
I cross the fog, approaching the shore edge from the road. I pass through, going right to the edge of the water. Searching for the bag I left behind, I hear the waters moving with the rain. Continuing to walk around, knowing that in the fog the bag looked just like the rest of the grassy dirt, I see the water moving around the shore. At last I managed to find it, and yoink it off the ground, looking up to begin my journey back to my home. That is when I see it moving. Cutting through the water, it caused ripples and waves in the medium depths of the water by the shore edge, its form starting to become apparent. Rising up, I can see its form tower. I am looking at a massive serpent, a human wide and twenty humans long, towering over me. It is in a cover not made of water, but a slime nearly identical in terms of looks to it. Parts of the serpent are the flesh of sea snakes, parts of it is water, and parts of it are rotting organic matter of indeterminate origin. It is a blue thing, helping it hide beneath the waves. It stares at me, looking down with curiosity at my insolence. The mouth opens, a tongue speaking a language I don’t know, but understand.
“It is awfully brave of you to come here alone, little human.” It says. I rapidly turn my head.
“No, my friends, my friends are here!” I shout in desperation.
“You have no friends. You are alone. As all things are, when they face death.” It replied, unamused by my self imposed illusions. I turn to face it, quivering where I stand.
“Please, I, I don’t want to die.” I beg of it.
“Death comes to all. That is why all things have the capacity to fear, because fear staves off death.” The serpent inched closer.
I screamed. I screamed in fear of the blinding, horrific nature of the end of existence, and I screamed until I could not stop screaming. My screams last until my memory doesn’t.
“Hey buddy, you okay?” Shadow asked standing over me. I shake my head and bat away his hand, but, it isn’t there. I pull myself off the ground, and look around. They are not there. No one is there. My bag was on my chest. I realize I’m absolutely drenched, and I need to get home before hypothermia kills me. Starting to jog, burdened by my bag and the weight of water on me, I eventually make it home, even if it took like an hour. Unlocking the house door I walk by the couch.
“Luna, where did you-” I asked before shaking my head. There’s no perfect goddess laying there, named after the moon, waiting to hold me in her arms. It is just a mess of pillows I haven’t straightened. Ignoring myself, I walk upstairs and look into my brother’s room.
“Shadow, stop-” I said before catching myself again. My brother’s still at school, won’t be back home until I go to work. Work, where Shadow’s my only companion. With another sigh I go and get myself dried off, and get into bed to get warmed back up. Staring out the window, I look at the rain still coming down.
“What a horrid nightmare, Luna.” I mutter to myself, in my empty home, alone except for me. Drifting off into sleep, I wish to dream of only one thing. A goddess who loves me and lives on the moon, and a brother I can relate to and share common interests in, who is always, always behind my back, like a shadow.
Maybe someday.
