It has been a long, cruel journey here, since your journey to the upper room.
I often think about death. I wondered if there was any point in life if death is always the end goal.
I often think about the things I could have change. Things I could have done. Things I want to do with you. Things that we never get the chance to, and things we always talked about doing.
No matter how many days have passed, my mind never falters away from you. Every positive moment, every negative moment, I always get excited to go to you for some guidance, only to remind myself that you are no longer present.
You left me with so much wisdom. You created a man who always stands for others, even when no one wants to. You created a man who never shy away from offering his opinions. You created a man who never let anyone walked all over them. You created me, a representation of you.
Even when you grow weaker, I became your legs. I became your arms; I became your support whenever you need it. There was never a moment where I came with regret—those thoughts never entered my mind. Why should it? I’m helping my father—the man who gave me life. The man who save me from death. The man who looked at me in the eyes and see me as his equal, even though I’m disfigured in the eyes of the world. My disability never bother you—in fact, it made our bonds stronger. You always want me to break out of my shell.
There are time where I wish I died, so my organs can be donated to you to give you life that you deserved. I’ll glad to give my lungs to you. I’ll be honored to give my heart to you. It beats with pride, strength and honor—these traits build over your powerful words of encouragement.
I weep every day, these tears never go away, and I often find myself in a daze because I still think this is all a dream. Just waiting for that moment where I wake up in the hospital next to you, so we can continue our conversation of our everyday lives.
This is the unbreakable bonds we have. No matter how much time passed, I will never forget about you. I will never stop loving you. You made me a powerful man, and I wish to do something worthy to show that your teachings was not wasted. There’s nothing stronger, than a bond between a father and son.
I hope you are watching me up there in the heavens, giving me boost whenever I’m at my lowest. I hope I’m doing good things that give you a smile and I hope I continue to make you proud.
I love you dad, always will. I’ll see you next time as our unbreakable bonds will continue for all eternity and beyond.